feelings part 1

Feelings. Feelings are a tricky thing. If you're like me, you follow them wholeheartedly. You also share and express them honestly and unabashedly. And even sometimes excessively. Without regard for the fact that a person's feelings are often only their own--and others don't want (nor should they) to hear them. That's what feelings are, aren't they? Our own; our own mini-secrets. Things others would be surprised to hear. We all have them--that's what unites us. What divides us, however, or what can put us at odds with each other, is how we deal with them. 

Some of us choose to lay it all out there: the unedited, raw, irrational, in-the-moment truth--as it exists to us; in our hearts and in our minds, for better or for worse. It spills out of us, bubbles over, and absolutely cannot be contained no matter how hard we try. In real-time. We feel it, after all--and when you are the kind of person who feels deeply, you are your feelings (and your feelings are you).

On the other side of the fence are those who are not their feelings. These people may be their thoughts; they may be their personal philosophies, or their ethics; their morals and/ or beliefs; or even a combination thereof. But, and I stress this, they are not their feelings. I mean, they have feelings, yes; but they process them a bit differently. If the person I described above experiences their emotions in real-time, this person is able to hit 'pause' and experience them, a bit more objectively, outside of the moment or situation in which they are initiated. They can place their feelings in a context. 

I most certainly fall into the first category. There are times when I wish I didn't, but I do. It cannot be helped. That's not a cop-out, either. I wish I could be a bit calmer in the face of my often intense feelings--there are numerous situations in which this approach would have served me better. But, I just can't. Now, this sensitivity isn't entirely self-serving or affecting: for instance, it also allows me to empathize and sympathize with others in a very deep and profound way. And, to be honest, I would not trade my empathy for anything. But, even so, I do realize that my approach is not always ideal.

Feelings are a tricky thing. They are based on nothing real or substantial. But, at the same time, they are representative of the human experience at its most pure form. We don't choose how we feel, we don't think before we feel--we just do. It is part of who we are, as individuals.