who dares to teach must never cease to learn

The one thing I feared most in coming here was teaching. Nothing else scared me as much--nothing. That's right, the dark, rainy, unfamiliar, unknowns of London were, in my mind, of no consequence when compared to the young, fresh, innocent and smiling faces of the students who would look to me each day for direction. I'm a practical girl and I've had my share of things to get through, so I knew that the whole "living" situation would work itself out; that it was only a matter of time. But the kids? Different story altogether. Kids are kids. And kids are....well, they're kids lol. Not only are they smart and not only do they tell it like it is, but kids need certain things from their teachers. And they need their teachers to know what those things are.

Let's face it, I totally milked the idea of wanting "experience in my field" so that I could have this big Adventure: so I could move to [what I consider to be] the best continent in the world and finally do my own thing and be my own person; so I could finally grow up and be independent (well, kind of lol); so I could finally challenge myself in a Big way; so I could do something that I could look back on and be proud of, something about which I could say "hey--I did it. I did that". And you know what? I have. But I've gotten more than that, too.

I've experienced what it feels like to have the student who gave you the most trouble the day before be genuinely sad that you weren't going to be in their classroom that day. I've experienced what it's like to have a group of girls be dying to show you their new hand-dance routine (you know what I mean, the kind with the hand swinging and clapping), and to see and feel their excitement when you finally say yes. I've experienced what it's like to be found out by the TA when you allow said girls to show and teach you their routine and to subsequently be made to feel like you're eight years old all over again--and love it :) I've experienced what it's like to have your game interrupted when all you want is to play it. I've experienced what it's like to be completely lost, to fly by the seat of your pants, and be terrified and uncomfortable the whole time. I've experienced what it's like to have a student say that one thing to you on that one day that just...makes it all so completely rewarding you can't even begin describe it. I've experienced what its like to matter in someone's day and, as cheesy as it sounds, to have them matter in mine.

I'm lucky in that I spend most of my days supplying at the same school so, in many ways, I don't really feel like I'm a supply teacher. I know the students (they say hi to me as I walk up every morning, even before I've had the chance to turn off my iPod); I know the staff (they crack jokes with me about the students--horrible, yes but we all know it happens lol); I know the administration (they call me by name and ask me how I am, and make me feel more at home for it then they'll ever know). I am part of a community--and I love communities.