the "L" word

London.

My plan was to write this blog while I was still in London, during those last few weeks before L-Sac's visit/ our departure for Sicily, and after the school year had come to a close. In the end, however, I was too busy going to the gym, packing and generally chillaxing to sit down and write the reflective, riveting and thought-provoking blog that this will come to be known as ;) So here I am now, just over a month later-- and what feels like a world and a lifetime away--at home in the t-dot, doing just that.

Its probably better that I've waited, come to think of it. When I was there, I was there (much like when you or I are here, we are here): I had my routine(s); I had my L-Town fam; I had everyday friends and acquaintances; I had a job; I had The Rose :) . Essentially, I had a Life. I think its hard to think and write about a "life" in general when you're living it. Its hard to appreciate, understand, learn from and be better for a reality that you are currently immersed in.

London had its ups and its downs, its highs and lows. It wasn't always the big, crrrraaazzzyyyy party people seem to think it was. Or at least what it looks like they think it was, given the expression on their face when they ask, expectantly, "sooooo, how was London?!!!?!" No no, sometimes it was all just as GASP!!--'everyday'-- as your or my life at home. And, between you and I, sometimes it was even harder. Not a week passed where I didn't get totally lost going....somewhere. Work (I was at different schools, supplying), out to meet friends, across town to pick up a package, to the mailbox, to the mall, to....I can't even remember all the places. But it happened a lot. Sometimes it didn't affect me at all and I laughed it all off; sometimes I wanted to cry; sometimes I wanted to scream; sometimes I sweat (literally); sometimes I sweat (figuratively); sometimes I wanted to give up; sometimes I relished the extra time it gave me to sleep/ listen to my iPod. But--and I stress this--it happened a lot.

I could list a whole bunch of things that happened and what I learned from them. I could tell a bunch of funny anecdotes and silly stories. But, as Jenny recently reminded me, no one wants to read a super-long ass blog: its best to keep it short, sweet and to the point. Plus, if I tell all my stories here, what will I have left for when we meet? ;). So, lets cut to the chase: what was London to me? Where did it take me? What did it really teach me (aside from how to do laundry, how to "cook", and how to speak British English)? First, I learned to learn. Lame, I know. But seriously, I learned how to be in a place that is completely foreign and strange and confusing and unfamiliar-- and be okay with it; to be okay in it; to be okay learning as I go. And not just at the beginning--because that feeling of not knowing where the hell you really are never goes away--but everyday, every week and every month. I learned that the people in this world of ours really are beautiful. New friends, new flatmates, bus drivers, store owners, strangers on the street...you can always tell a lot about a person by how they treat people they don't know/ might never see again--and I encountered some truly amazing people. And I guess, through all of it, I learned where and how I fit into it all. What I, Melissa Saccoccia, bring to the mix; what I contribute, what I need to be contributed to me, and what, for me, its all about. Or, in many ways, who I am. And who I am not.

So. London. What can I say? I found a home in London. And whenever I think of it, for as long as I live, I will remember it as just that--a place where I lived. For real.

"As to London we must console ourselves with the thought that if life outside is less poetic than it was in the days of old, inwardly its poetry is much deeper"--Goldwin Smith