"after all... I'm just a girl..."

Love.

I know, I know: touchy subject. For everyone. Whether you're head-over-heels in love; out of love; totally hating on love; longing for love; looking for love; waiting for love; ignoring love; avoiding love...its one of those topics that's never really spoken about, or addressed, directly. Its one of those things that people don't talk about candidly.

I'll start by making it personal (because, after all, this is my blog). I am currently out of love. Badly; hard-ly; and not of my choosing. In other words, I got dumped. Common enough, right? People break-up. That's life, that's love. Beginnings and endings. All you can do is all you can do. You pick yourself up, you pull yourself together and you move on.

But sometimes its not as simple as that. We all know. We've all been there. And we've all wished we weren't.

I went to Notting Hill today for the first time since I've been here.

Anyone who knows me knows that Notting Hill is one my favourite movies of all time. In fact, its the only movie that I saw more than once in the theatre; its the movie that I listed as my favourite when I started working at Colossus and was asked to provide the name of my favourite film so it could be printed below my name on my nametag; I even own the original soundtrack (that's right, the original soundtrack; i.e. not burned)-- I listened to it every night as I fell asleep for its soothing and hope-instilling, love-celebrating effects for years. I love it. I've always loved Julia Roberts, I've always loved romantic-comedies and, after seeing this film, have since loved Hugh Grant. Its just...one of those movies.

Anyone who knows me also knows that I majored in Cinema Studies (along with history) during my undergrad and that I LOVED every second of it. Why? I love film. I love movies. I have a stack of DVDs from Blockbuster staring me down right now, as we speak, that I've chosen over a night out at a pub or bar or club or wherever. People love to knock films: to say that they're mindless; to say that they're nothing but dumbed-down, corrupted versions of books and stories; to say they serve a coporate purpose. And they do, in many ways and for many reasons. But...they're also more than that. And not only from a Cinema Studies pov (which I won't even begin to get into right now because I know it would bore you), but from a cultural one. Film--popular film especially--is born of our culture. It speaks to its vices, and our vices, yes, but it also speaks to its virtues; to our collective hopes; to our collective dreams.

Where does all of this lead us? Ahh, yes. Love. And Film. As I was walking around Notting Hill today, listening to songs from the soundtrack, of course, I got to thinking: sometimes love begins, full of hope, and then ends. Just like that. But maybe...maybe ts supposed to; maybe the ending in question isn't an ending at all, but just another beginning. Think of your favourite romance/ romantic comedy: how does it start? Are things going swimmingly for the protagonist? Is he/ she happier than he/ she has ever been? No. But, throughout the course of the film, something changes. Perhaps a new character is introduced; perhaps an old character is re-introduced; perhaps a major problem is solved; perhaps a major difference is resolved; perhaps the celebrity of one of the characters stops being regarded as an obstacle to one or both of the protagonists lol. You catch my drift. There's always hope. Love is always waiting. Because love is always alive. We just have to be willing and able to let it breathe its life into us.

I know what you're thinking: "I (or you) don't live in a romantic-comedy". But...couldn't you? Couldn't we? Who's to say that your life, or my life, or anyone's life, couldn't be film-esque? Who's to say that our love couldn't be romantic-comedy-esque? I still think it can. I still think it should. Its as simple or as complicated as we choose to make it.

"After all... I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her".