Sunday, April 18

Today was a short "day": like I said earlier, it didn't start until 1pm. But, factor in the gym (including walking to and from it), and it didn't really start until 5:30pm. But, alas, I was determined to not come back with something--some new thing I had done. Are you ready? Ok, here it is:

I didn't think. For the first time in a looooonng time. Not about anything other than what I was doing at that moment. I actually did it-- I mean, I didn't just tell myself I would and then go back to thinking again. About what, you ask? The typcial things: things that pass through our mind, that we play and re-play over and over again in our head, things from the past that we generally waste our time looking back to. I've been trying to do this for a very long time, and never really succeeded. What made today different? Oddly enough, writing this morning's blog--my "important" one.

Its so easy to lose sight of ourselves sometimes, isn't it? To believe that we are exactly what others perceive us to be; that our faults and flaws are somehow worse than theirs; that we are defined solely by said faults and flaws, and any positive attributes we may have are completely insignificant/ not worth mentioning or acknowledging; that said faults and flaws make us unforgiveable and unacceptable-- no matter how many times we accept or forgive, and no matter how many times we apologize or try to make amends.

That we embody everything that is wrong with the world.

Yup.

But you know what? No one is perfect. And anyone who can't see past your faults and flaws probably has their head too far up their own ass to realize that their shit stinks just as much as the next person's. Someone needs to remind those people that they need to close the lid, open the window, leave the door ajar and turn on the fan just the same as everyone else. They need to let some fresh air in--and a lot of hot air out.

Is this a rant? Am I just some super bitter broad using her blog to spread the hate? No. But it seems that all too often, people choose to focus on the negative; to zero in on the things that support their theories, and magnify them so that they're all that they can see. Kind of like writing an essay: you know, when you get lazy and only use those sources whose information supports your thesis--even if that eliminates 70% of the material out there, and even if you really have to stretch the reminaing 30%. It makes writing the essay a bit more tricky, yes. But it saves you from having to re-evaluate your position; it saves you from having to do any extra thinking.

Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, there are people who try desperately to do just the opposite; to keep an open mind, and to try to get others to see things differently, too; to get them to at least peruse the catalogue and take a glance at those other documents; to get them to see the Big Picture, and, in doing so, to see past the argument at hand; to understand-- not just to presume or pretend to.

Who's the bigger fool? The person who gives up and is content to hand in a half-ass, but well argued and strongly opinionated, paper? Or the person who writes a more comprehensive one, but whose argument isn't rock solid? You be the judge.

Not thinking. I know, it sounds typical and lame. But for me--a chronic over-analyzer--I promise you, its no small feat. The mouse on that little wheel in my head must've broken a leg or forgot to have his morning coffee or something because the little bugger just would not budge. I got into my zone and I stayed in it. My Zone. And it was the best (quick sidenote: I think that that is going to be my new mission/ mantra in life: to live in My Zone--italics and all ;)). My iPod helped, of course (iPods really are the coolest invention the past decade has seen, don't you think? iBooks, iPads, iPhones, iDesktops, iEverything-else-that-Apple-makes, etc. be damned!). But a lot of it was me starting to see things/ people/ideas for what they really are and starting to recognize their flaws and faults as well--and coming to like mine all the more.

Must go. Time to start another day; to tune out, and tune in.