Wednesday, April 21: "Mele Kalikimaka"

Sure, that might be the thing to say on a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day. But personally, I think bright-Hawaiian-Christmas-days are highly overrated. And extremely typical. If given the choice, I think I'd choose a more private, more quaint, less touristy, more... homey locale.

If that last one didn't give it away, then you must be having an off day, my friend--in which case, you are probably in need of a vacation yourself!! That's right, my destination of choice for my Christmas and non-Christmas Day getaways is....PUERTA BACKYARDA!! I know, I know, you've heard of it but have never actually been. Well, as it so happens, I've just returned from a stay there myself--so I can give you all the info you'll need to make your trip a memorable one.

First things first: acknowlege the fact that you need some time off/ away. This is key. You will not make the most of your time in Puerta Backyarda if you are not fully committed to breaking all ties with the mainland and all of the rules and responsibilities it imposes on you. Leave email behind! Pack a good book (and maybe a magazine, too)! Skip the gym (or just do cardio and then go rollerblading when you get back)! Load up your iPod with vacation-appropriate songs (cheesy as it may be, Israel Kamakawiwo's "Over the Rainbow" is a perfect example)! Take a sweater along (?)! And don't forget your camera!!!

Second things second: hmmm....there really is no "Second things second", come to think of it. Your work ends there/ here. All you need to do now, is relax. Maybe the sun won't always be shining directly on you, and maybe there will be times when you can't see it for the clouds; maybe the wind will be a bit chillier than you would've thought; maybe you'll have to make an unexpected trip back to the mainland to fetch a sweater (I told you to pack one! Learn from my mistakes, dammit!); maybe the locals (Liana) will laugh at you for your enthusiam/ excitement; maybe you'll even have to cut your trip short because you are too absolutely-freezing-cold to stay outside anymore. But don't fret: as long as you pack the Puerta Backyarda spirit along with the rest of your belongings, you can continue your vacation as you sit, read, lie and sleep on the couch in your family room.

I don't mean to pressure you or stress you out, but you should definitely start planning your pilgrimmage now: it won't be long before all of the major tour operators discover Puerta Backyarda and completely desecrate it. Its inevitable, I fear :(

And I'd hate for you to miss out.